Do you ever mull over your regrets and have a sense of failure or even feel depressed?
In quieter moments, most of us go through times when we scroll through our mental Rolodex of our regrets scattered over our lives. You know what I mean, the failures in your life that have turned to regrets, and mostly we wish we could bury them somewhere and forget it ever happened.
I have several incidents down through the years that I seem to recall distinctly and with too many details. I wish I could fully resolve them. I’ve forgiven myself for all of them, yet I would like to have each situation resolved so that any memory isn’t as painful or difficult.
Maybe this intro sounds like these are major life events, but instead, most are of a relatively minor nature, but I somehow missed the mark. I missed opportunities to be kind, or sometimes my social awkwardness and lack of emotional maturity left me in a bad spot that reflected poorly on me.
Most of my personal situations are social, where the relationship was marred or ended by my lack of social awareness. Maybe I was socially awkward or clumsy and offended someone I didn’t mean to offend, and the relationship was never repaired. Sometimes I merely left myself in a very awkward position socially. Sometimes sarcasm ended what might have been a good friendship, but it ended whatever there might have been. There were times that I became angry because I misread a situation and reacted out of misdirected anger. Sometimes there were friendships, relationships that died over time because I simply wasn’t as good a friend as I should have been.
You get the idea. We all have places that something bad happened, and we never meant for it to happen. Maybe we look back, and we did something/said something or, conversely, didn’t say or do something, and the results were bad. No one means for the bad to happen, but somehow it did anyway. The memory of these events still proves painful even now as I look back.
The Hidden is Revealed and Failure is Redeemed
About 3 months ago, I was considering this list. For each one, I kept thinking, “I simply wouldn’t say that now!” Or “I just wouldn’t do that” It finally struck me that for virtually every situation, I wouldn’t do what had been done. I wouldn’t say what had been said or be in those situations again. I’m not perfect but were I to end up in a similar situation; I have endless positive options which would lead to dramatically different outcomes.
Since then, I’ve realized that I simply wouldn’t be in that situation again or make that same mistake several times until I decided that I have grown and changed and moved forward!
Simply, what happened then is not something that would happen in the future! I am not perfect, but I have grown into someone that won’t make that mistake again. I’ve found places where I have built real grit and resilience! With that mindset reset, I see places of strength where I have failed in the past.
Looking back, I see how far I have come. Though it seemed the changes were so small, the progress has been real. I have grown and matured in some very positive ways. Time to enjoy a moment as I see my progress. Thankful the process continues.